You are Likeable

Look at previous post, im officialy an S. Ikom rite now.. asooooooooooooyy...
dont have to tell u how hard my efforts to earn that title, do I?

Ill tell the story next time,
now im going to tell how i feel bout it..

what do you mean, mei? dont u happy? grateful?
of course i am..
but the next morning, when i wake up and think...
i dont feel anything, i dont see the different, except that my name getting longger,
usually its 1 word (Meilani), now there's S. Ikom behind it.

I know it means now i have to find a job, make a living and its time to give back to my parents..
Im planning on finding an internship program in Jakarta,
but I havent gone anywhere since 25th of October (sidang skripsi),
my reason is i got a couple of revisions to do.
but......(again) i havent touched anything yet (of my thesis)

when i think about it again, i cant feel anything different now and before i graduated.

its been a week,
im not productive at all and i hate it,
ive come to a conclusion that i might be afraid to get out of my comfort zone,
thats when i downloded this freakin book:

"You Are Likeable" by Jed Revolutia
Pictures taken from Jed's FB page (

At first, i thought this book isnt for me..
I thought this book is for alay teenagers (sorry sir-no hard feelings please.. :))
but then i read Chapter 2 "The Journey to Like Myself",
i was like: "WTF!! Thats how I feel!! Thats exactly who I am!"

I always think Im a loser, Im an annoying person, Im not good at start a new relationship with strangers, i dont have any important skills, i have a tendency to hurt people i love, im not beautiful, and so on and so on..
So I thought people dont like me, they must be annoyed with me, and bla bla bla...
Through this chapter, i know thats because i dont like my self, therefore i tend to hurt myself due to the effort to punish myself..
Yes, i like to hurt myself (not phisically). There are lots of other way to hurt ourselves you know..

And then other characteristic (which i found i did) is break down and cry, sobbed, and lementing my bad luck in relationship when i failed or when i feel alone and lonely..
Maybe thats the most important similarity: loneliness, bitterness.
Those 2 situations that finally opened my eyes...

Im reading Chapter 4 "Positive Outlook" now,
what i love the most is its in PDF form and the layout makes it easier to read in my E71 (because its in 2 columns)
Well, all I wanna say is thank you, writer..
I know what is wrong with me now,
im gonna try to like myself *for my own and my beloved's sake*

But I found something relieving, im not a pesimist-negative person,
u can ask everyone,
i always try to be positive in viewing problems (general one, like thesis; not in relationship matters),
optimist in everything (again like thesis) hehe..

You guys might want to download it, for urself or someone u know might need it..
U can download it here or u can buy the printed version, just check his website for other informations.
The writer also available in twitter with username @revolutia


hope ive shared something useful.